Say What You Mean.

Betrayal.

It’s strange how the people who you love the most have the most power to hurt you. If some stranger came up to you and told you that you were ugly, you’d be offended, but more irritated as opposed to hurt. When someone you love tells you that part of your personality hurts them, it really gets to you. Just one comment, one phrase can rip you apart and you stand back and go, “Wait. Am I really like that?” This leads me to question: How deep does a relationship go? Do I allow myself to be fully and intrinsically absorbed by another person, only to lose myself in the end? Do I continue to put myself out there in hopes that I won’t get hurt?

It seems like there is a never-ending supply of questions and scant amounts of answers. I don’t know if I’ll ever be good enough to make someone “truly happy.” I mean, I can try…isn’t that enough? You’d imagine that almost two years later you’d be firmly cemented in the idea that there is no one else you’d love, but you’d be surprised at how quickly that can be torn away. I don’t really know where to go from here. I’ve accepted so much and tried so hard to change my morals, my ideals…but now my personality, too? Who am I becoming?