Stuck.
I think I need a therapist. And I’m not even kidding. I feel like the smallest things make me so irritated when it comes to relationships. If I don’t get what I want, I don’t want it at all. It’s only recently that I’ve come to learn how to compromise and even then I’m still not getting it right. My friends say they’ve seen me jump from guy to guy, even if the relationship lasts for more than a year, they’re still doubtful. Plenty tell me the one I had was a keeper, and as usual I should have listened. But no. I’m the master at pushing people away and pretending like I don’t need them when in truth he’s been the most serious and loving boyfriend in the world. Or rather, ex-boyfriend. The thing is, I guess I’m just not ready. I may SEEM like I am, but I’m not. In my head I imagine I try to be the perfect girlfriend. Keywords: Try. I’ll clean and take care of him, buy him things, massage him and keep him company and give give give fucking giveeeee everything I am and all I have to make him happy. Then…what am I left with? Nothing. And when he disappears all I have is an empty shell that’s slowly re-filling and already waiting to give to someone else. He deserves someone so much better.
Keep Moving Forward.
